Quick 1

Busy like crazy but been missing blogging...

1. Had a lovely dinner on our anniversary at Kensington Restaurant in Era Square near Terminal 2, Seremban. A western & fusion restaurant that seems to be hitting the right note with Malaysian food bloggers, and an affordable one too. The ambience is nice but no candle light dinner was served, contrary to what I was told when I made the reservation. But since we were already seated, we thought - never mind lah and ordered anyway. We had mushroom soup with garlic bread and prawn mango salad for starter; lamb chop & venison steak as the main entree and apple crumble (with ice cream) for dessert. Oh, and the not-to-be-missed huge air-flown from Canada, baked cheese oyster. Yummy! Food was fab, alhamdulillah although hubby was not too happy seeing bottles of wine lining up some tables. The waitress was obliging - I asked if they could play any other CD than the Christmassy one that was on, and she changed it to a light & easy CD (and romantic too - stuff like Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" and Richard Marx's "Right Here Waiting").

We only managed to take some pictures of the soup when the camera's battery went dead. Oh well...

2. The kenduri of my brother in law went okay, alhamdulillah - although the "making of" and the "post-production" part was very tiring. No kidding.

SIL, wife of hubby's cousin & I in the process of hanging a self-made satin scallops in front of the house (so as to make it easy for guests to identify the rumah pengantin)

3. Dramas during in between the three functions (akad nikah, kenduri on the bridal side and kenduri sambut menantu on the groom side) include, among others, last minute lintang pukang shopping for bunga pahar, satin sheets to be turned into scallops, fresh flowers as cake decoration, a worrying episode of the eldest nephew in the family, Ahmad Hassan, experiencing acute pain in the chest, which after being inspected in Tuanku Jaafar Hospital, was diagnosed as some clutching of the nerve near his heart or something like that, plus receiving last minute goodies from well-meaning relatives who insist on them (souvenir face towels and bunjuts of jellies of various color and taste) forming part of the door gifts, Huzaifah tresspassing into a closed and locked kindergarden with Humaidi looking on while trying (and failed) to enter the kindergarden through closed gates and some huru haraness when the bridal side of the family came to the kenduri sambut menantu due to the caterer's lack of waiters/waitresses.

Ish, ish, ish, anak siapa lah tu ye?

"Ayah jangan pukul ok? Ujai nak keluar ni"

"Yelah, yelah Ayah tak pukul. Tapi Ujai jangan masuk dah, ok?. Tak Boleh. Salah. Tau?"

4. Should a Malaysian Malay newlywed couple opt for the honeymoon first or go and make the obligatory rounds of visits to the elderly before going for their honeymoon? I asked around in the office and the majority seems to believe that it is better to make the obligatory round of visits first before leaving for honeymoon. But what if one gets pregnant (bunting pelamin) before they could go for a 'proper' honeymoon? For the record, hubby and I spent our first week as husband and wife visiting relatives in Seremban and Kedah with just one night/day in Penang spent on our own. We planned on going back to PJ that night but we were both so tired from all the visits that we decided to spend the night in Penang on our way back from Kedah. Boy oh boy - it was really difficult finding a vacant room that night - school holidays, weekend and all. Alhamdulillah, we finally found one in Naza Hotel - yes, the very hotel we went for the family gathering during Eidul Fitri season this year.

5. Because my husband is not that 'jiwang' I don't usually consider him to be a romantic. Stuff like him refusing to give me flowers (even for my graduation) seem to support this notion. It wasn't until his aunt, Busu Bibah, pointed out that "Busu tengok korang selalu je pakai baju sama kaler" when it hit me that well, my husband is not that bad for a non-romantic husband. Busu went on to moan, "Pak Busu kau, hmm, jangan haraplah nak pakai baju sedondon ke apa ke..." Yes, like I said before, I am thankful for what hubby and I have and are together, alhamdulillah.

We both wore turquoise during BIL's akad nikah ceremony,

maroon during the bridal kenduri,

and golden yellow during the kenduri sambut menantu.

Go nen me no kinenbi

5 years!
In some ways it feels like forever, in others like it was just yesterday.

Alhamdulillah I must admit that it has been a wonderful and unforgettable 5 years of marriage.

1 plus 1 in 2004 now equals 5!

Baby Haniyya is going to be 10 months, Humaidi is 2.5 years and Huzaifah 4 years.
We have three children, have gone through different life experiences together (living apart in the 1st year, living as Mombusho-student-with-an-Imam-husband in Tokyo for 3 years and a year of what many would consider 'normal life' as government servants)
Alhamdulillah, I am happy to say that we are still moving forward together in our life journey, strengthening and maturing our bond and love for each other.

Oh yes, of course we get exhausted from our boisterous and highly energetic children and we might squabble about different viewpoints but alhamdulillah, so far we managed to work it out.
Oh yes, occassionally we found somebody telling us that I might have annoyed hubby, yet others would point out that I have higher tolerance and patience for his temper bursts compared to most women. Somebody would say that I made a lousy daughter-in-law and another would say that he made a lousy son-in-law too. We don't usually scream at each other, but admitedly, there were moments of resentment, 'bengang' and stuff every once in a blue moon.
Squabbles - what would married life be without them, eh?
"Gaduh-gaduh, bawa bahagia"...Or as Abraham Lincoln put it, "no matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens" (aww shucks...)

Anyway, while it might be easy to get lost in little frustrations and annoyances, when do we remember to look at things from a broader perspective, it really makes us thankful for what we have and are together...
Alhamdulillah.

I love you Abang.
More now than 5 years ago.
And looking forward to many, many more years for us to keep loving each other.
And keep falling in love with each other.
Again and again and again.
Insya Allah.

The Gift of a Smile

While McDonald's is no longer my usual hang-out place (unlike when I first started working in 1999 when I used to go to McD at least once in 2 weeks), I decided to have a Cheeseburger Happy Meal (the free toy for my son) while waiting for hubby last Sunday. He was attending to some business matter at Amcorp Tower while I had just finished book shopping at Big Bad Wolf Book Sale (it had gone down to RM5 a book today, the last day of the Sale).

Written on the pamhplet/tray cover was some brief information of Ronald McDonald House Charities (RHMC) Malaysia.

"200 smiles restored"

I was curious and read more for further explanation. Turned out that RMHC Malaysia runs the Gift of Smile Campaign for children born with cleft lip and palate defects, enabling the children to undergo corrective surgery at No Costs to the parents. I immediately picked up two application forms at the Information Counter.

There's a male clerk in the office whose baby girl was born with cleft lip. I didn't know about the baby's condition until we visited his house during Raya. She looked so fragile, all bundled in white in her playpen with her cleft lip, with her still-in-confinement mother looking at her, smiling at the guests yet trying to hold back some tears. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to hug the mother, but at that time I had to keep chasing after Huzaifah and Humaidi who were delighted in finding new spots to explore.

Since then I've been asking about baby Afina's development from time to time. Hairi confessed that back then his daughter was too young to undergo a corrective surgery but he had been assured that the doctors in Hospital Serdang, where she was born, would try to fix her condition once she reaches 3 months old.

I asked him about the cost.

He said that it was never really discussed with the doctors, so he suspects that they will first use the Guarantee Letter from the office - with him being a government servant and his daughter being treated in a government hospital - and he will pay for the cost by monthly deductions from his salary amounting the total cost.

So, yesterday, I went to his desk and handed over the application forms for Gift of Smile campaign, "I don't know if you had heard of this, but I saw this yesterday and I immediately thought of you"

"What is this Puan?"

I briefly explained what little I knew and recommended for him to try applying for it. He quickly scanned through the form. "But Puan, it's stated here that priority is given to families with household income of RM2,000 and below..."

"What's your household income, then?" I know that his wife is also a support staff, working for a government agency.

"A little bit over RM2,000"

"Just give it a try then. You never know if this is your daughter's rezeki"

"But Hospital Serdang had already set 29 January (2010) for my daughter's surgery"

"What's the cost then?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I was under the impression that I'll get monthly deductions from my salary after the operation is over"

This program is in partnership with ING Insurance and Pantai Hospital, so my guess is, the successful applicants would be treated at any of the Pantai Hospitals.

"If I were you, I would give it a shot. For one, if you got it, it's free. That means no deduction from your salary. You could instead use that portion of your salary to save for your daughter's education insurance or something..."

"Hmmm..."

"Try istikharah then. Ask for Allah's guidance. The surgery is set in late January - so you still have about 2 months from now..."

"Okay, I'll think about it"

They said that in Malaysia alone, 1 out of 600 babies is born with a cleft lip and palate. Out of the 570,000 babies born in this country, about 950 new cases are found each year. Corrective surgery for those born with cleft lip and defective palate are not cosmetic surgery. Chances are, if left untreated, a child born with cleft lip and palate would suffer from low self-esteem may experience breathing difficulties, speech and hearing problems, trouble in swallowing food and drinks, and facial growth impairments. Yet, in the first place, cleft lip and palate can easily be rectified with proper corrective surgery...

Here's praying for little baby Afina to have her smile restored again - with or without RHMC "The Gift of Smile Campaign" aid - insya Allah...

To give away...

So, yes, just like Kit wrote in her entry, I went to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale on the first day - and burned a hole in my pocket.

My haul?
50 books (minus 1 later on, as I gave Julia Quinn's "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" to Kit) in one big box. The lady who was queuing next to me chuckled and asked if I would like to start a new library. I smiled back and answered that I already have a library and these are only add-ons. Of course, I initially picked almost 60 books, but on second thoughts, I only went back with the 50. And yes, the poor customer service boy who helped me with the heavy huge box, had to push the trolley (it was that heavy) all the way to Taman Jaya LRT station where the car was parked. We chatted a bit - and the boy told me that pushing the trolley filled with 1 box is not as difficult as carting 7 boxes for another customer earlier on, and Taman Jaya LRT is not as far as the end corner of Taman Jaya the park itself... I gave him a small tip of RM2 - to which he initially refused "eh tak payahlah" but I insisted "sikit je, buat minum". He grinned almost sheepishly, making me wondered - did others who got his help give him some small tip; especially if he had to walk further and help with bigger hauls?

*****

On Eidul Adha - it hit me that the amount I spent at the book sale could have easily been the cost for 1 portion of 'daging korban'.

Okay, I already, ahem, 'sacrificed' 1 book to Kit - because I knew it must have meant a lot to her since she already has started collecting Julia Quinn's UK cartoonish cover edition. It didn't take that much begging/pleading/whining from her because partly I already felt guilty for not remembering that "The Lost Duke of Wyndham" is on her wanted list and did not save a copy for her when I could. So Kit dear, consider that as my belated birthday present for you, okay?

I went back to Amcorp Mall yesterday - hoping to find books that I could read and then give away as presents while they are still in mint (as opposed to pre-loved) condition. To sort of 'sacrifice' the books away, in conjunction with the korban mood. I thought getting Chicken Soup books or books on management/leadership by John C Maxwell (all selling for RM10 each - yes that's how cheap they were) might do the trick. But unfortunately - there were only copies of Chicken Soup for Women Golfers left and none of the Maxwell book.

Yet, by the end of the evening, hubby and I spent more than RM200 on our second haul - mostly on coffee table books on cars, motorbikes and travel books.

So, should I give away some of the books I now have or wait until the next Big Bad Wolf Book Sale for a 'sacrifice' purchase? After all, giving away books - especially those I already owned - is a 'sacrifice' of sort for me. Like I told hubby - he can count on me not to overspend on clothes, bags, cosmetic or jewellery, but he has to bear with me when it comes to books...

(I don't have that many shoes too - but just got myself two pairs, at 50% discount, in the Year End Sale at Jusco. It's true, shoe shopping is almost always a positive experience for women - we don't have to diet to fit into shoes, and they never make our bum look big.)

Salam Eidul Adha

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.
semoga yang menunaikan ibadah haji tahun ini beroleh haji yang mabrur.
semoga yang menjalankan ibadah korban tahun ini diterima korbannya di sisi Allah.
dan semoga yang lainnya - termasuk empunya diri - sama-sama menghayati nilai dan memahami erti pengorbanan di hari raya Korban ini...

The lingering dilemma of the lingerie purchase...

Women in Saudi must still buy their bras and undies from male sales staff. While many finds it annoying, they don't have much choice because only men are hired as sales staff in most retail stores . So they have men selling g-strings to women, and grabbing push-up bras from the rack when customers complain that they need to push up sagging bosoms.

Ewww...

No wonder modern Saudi women buy their lingerie online or when they go abroad.

Apparently, it's not an easy situation for male sales staff too, as some finds it embarrassing to admit that they work in a lingerie shop.

One 21-year-old Saudi man who works in a lingerie chain called "Women's
Secret" is too embarrassed to tell his friends.

"I swear before I took this job, I never even went into these stores with my sisters and family because I was too embarrassed and now I work in one," he said.

"I told my buddies I am still unemployed and those of them who know I work think I work in a regular store," he added. "I can't allow anyone to see me in this store, it's too embarrassing. I'd rather they think I'm unemployed."

Here in Malaysia, I believe most women still buy their bras and undies from fellow female. But some find it embarrassing to shop for lingerie with men around. And it happens from time to time - men going to the lingerie shop with a female - sister, mother, daughter, wife - waiting for the women to make their purchases. Some are also consulted before final purchase is made. And some even go there alone to buy bras and undies for their female partner.

Which will make some female customers feel very conscious and uncomfortable merely with their presence. While the women might not subject to making their lingerie purchase from a male (at least in Saudi the women are covered from head to toe with exception of the eyes, so there is no telling how crimson a person's face would turn, being 'forced' to buy such a private piece of clothing from the opposite sex), some feel that there's an element of 'harrassment' to pick or buy a private garment in the presence of members of the different gender.

So, should men be banned from being near lingerie shops or lingerie section in the departmental store? Should they (like Saudi women) resort to buying lingerie online or when they go abroad? (Wacoal in Bangkok for an instance is a lot cheaper and more affordable than they are in Malaysia) If men were banned from entering lingerie shop or being near the lingerie section in the departmental store, it might make lingerie shopping a lot easier for many women. Some friends told me that they would go and kill some time elsewhere before hitting the undies and bras section upon seeing a guy in the vicinity. Especially so if they are browsing through really, really private stuff, like thongs. After all, imagination might run wild too upon seeing a man in the lingerie shop - it might not be so bad if the men who go there alone buy stuff for his wife - what if he's buying them for himself?

Ewww...

Anyway, what is the guideline for a man who wants to surprise his wife with lingerie? Too big and the wife might believe that he thinks of her as fat, and too small will be taken as a hint that he wants her to shed some pounds. Too conservative might lead the wife to believe that she's boring and too raunchy might be considered as trashy.

So, how?

Kenduri oh Kenduri

Hubby's younger brother is getting married next month. The last in the family to finally tie the knot. We just had a pre-kenduri last week - "ground breaking" of sort if the coming kenduri is likened to an "official opening".

All along I tried to chip in where possible - help packing the door gifts, for example (no more traditional 'bunga telur') and sometimes Pakcu, my youngest BIL would ask for my opinion on this and that and I'll share with him what little I know.

Last 2 years, Mak used to share how pening she was in preparing for Abang's wedding. I remember Mak telling me that she thought it would be easier than managing my kenduri because "kenduri sambut menantu" is supposed to be more relaxed but the reality is not as she expected. A Malay wedding reception, whether small or big, bridal or on the groom side, could still cause lots of headache, as well as tension-and-high-blood-pressure-inducing.

So, Pakcu's wedding is no exception. In a way, he's lucky because being the youngest in the family means he has lots of "sponsors". SIL No 1 & 2 'sponsored' the new bedroom set, SIL No 3 sponsored the hantaran (wedding gifts), hubby sponsored the door gifts, BIL no 5 sponsored paper bags for the door gifts and so on and so forth. And lets not even talk about 'sponsors' coming from other relatives and family friends. Yup, the groom is very lucky indeed.

Only that - like any other kenduri - it's not without its share of drama. Already SIL No 3 is unhappy with the groom-to-be's decision to have a pelamin (wedding dais). MIL said the same thing, stressing that none of her 5 kids who got married previously ever had a pelamin during the kenduri. My take?

"Hmm, having a pelamin would be nice for a photo shoot, but it should not be a top priority. No need to spend RM2000 for a temporary pelamin when that RM2000 could be used for more important stuff. But if you are willing to prepare a DIY pelamin - get a nice set of chairs, some beautiful flower arrangements, some nice linen as the background and all for a fraction of RM2000 - by all means, go ahead. And since this is what you want, and not what you need, be prepared to pay for it out of your own pocket, not Mak's. But the final decision must come from Mak. This is her majlis..."

I know, I know - it's the old debate of "whose majlis it is anyway?". The groom wants one thing, the parents another. For me, a wedding kenduri is a majlis for both - the married couple and the respective parents. Ideally, both party must be willing to tolerate and cooperate.

I didn't know that MIL is that stressed about coming wedding until last week, while I was helping with preparation for the pre-kenduri and she sighed, "Mak rasa dulu masa Amin kahwin lagi senang sebab banyak benda Haida yang tolong buatkan..."

Hah, I must admit that I was surprised because I remember my own Mak telling me something along the same line last 2 years. When I asked for clarification, turned out that MIL was still in the dark about lots of stuff - the wedding garments, how many guests from the bridal side will be coming to our kenduri etc. And she was also a bit upset with BIL's 'demands' - the pelamin, 'live' kompang (they played a recorded kompang for us 5 years ago and both hubby and I had nothing to complain about that), expensive photographer and all.

I must admit that for me, hiring a professional photographer, if one can afford it, is highly recommended. MIL argued that what with hubby having a DSLR, he can act as the wedding photographer without incurring much. I kept quiet, but I believe on the wedding day itself, hubby would be busy with entertaining guests and keeping stuff smooth that he would not have much time to act as a photographer.

Talking from my own experience, I am glad I paid for a professional photographer during the bridal side occassions - the akad nikah and the kenduri in Kg Tunku. Hubby said that he would ask his family to take the photos during the 'kenduri sambut menantu' in Seremban. And what do you know? We have two album of photos taken during akad nikah and kenduri in Kg Tunku, and 8 shots in Seremban. 8 amateur shots, if I may add. And you can't really blame the family members - there were hundreds of things need to be done and get done on the kenduri itself.

Pakcu told me that he and his fiancee had agreed to hire one photographer for all three occassions - the akad nikah, the bridal kenduri and the kenduri sambut menantu. Claimed that they scored a good bargain for the photography service as well as 'story book' album and all. Hmm, that sounds reasonable. But I really hope that he's going to work something out with MIL and his sisters, and come to an agreement on the pelamin thingy.

I also hope that he and his fiancee will communicate more with MIL so as not to let her worry about lots of details. Never let her fret unncecessarily. She has enough in her plate already.

By the way, although it has been a tradition of sort for hubby and I to celebrate our anniversary in a place we (or at least one of us) has never been before, this year it seems like we have to postpone it because our anniversary is just 2 days before Pakcu's wedding, insya Allah...

Kyoto - 'revisited'

Reading HE's entry on his trip to Kyoto brought back memories of our own trip in April 2008, more than a year ago.

Truth is, the only place we really visited in Kyoto was Kinkakuji a.k.a. the Golden Pavillion. After all, we did the Kyoto-Osaka-Kobe touch-and-go trip in one day, remember?

I remembered that day we started very early in the morning, to catch the first bus to Tokyo at 6.03 a.m., so as not to miss the second earliest Shinkansen Hikari at 7.03 a.m.

We boarded a 101 (or was it 104?) bus from Kyoto eki. A city bus that simultaneously acts as a sightseeing bus, that announce the name of places of interest along the bus route together with some brief description of each. In English too, mind you, and that's a rare experience in Japan.

Kyoto could be very charming - and one could witness that even during a short trip. There's the ultra modern part and then the old, rustic part; all blended so well that resulted in a charming Kyoto. It's different from the always-busy-and-lively Tokyo, yet it's not that much different. A contradiction in its own way.

Anyway, I remember a group of Nihonjin girls being fascinated with Huzaifah - who was about 2 1/2 year then. He got a lot of attention for having 'huge' 'kira-kira' eyes and showered with lots of attention - free sweets and candy included.

And I remember I had to change Huzaifah in a very public spot (the main viewing area) in Kinkakuji because his disposable diaper was already "terlondeh". I should have changed him in Kyoto eki, but we didn't know where exactly to wait for the bus and by the time we found the bus stand, the queue was already long so we did not want to miss the next bus. I thought it was okay to wait until we reach Kinkakuji to change Huzaifah, but well, my prediction was not exactly right... (Warning - the bus ride is a looong one. But worth it, at least in my opinion)

Kinkakuji is a UNESCO World Heritage site. The entrance ticket cost 400 yen per adult, but nobody could really take their own sweet time there as batches of tourists swarmed in, one after another. It was so crowded at the main viewing area that it was difficult to find one spot to take a family picture without other tourist appearing in the photo (hantu lilin). But once the group of tourists started walking around the grounds, it was not so bad as each of us get a little bit more 'personal' space.

I enjoyed the stroll around the grounds even though it was a bit tricky pushing the stroller along a pebbled path with hilly patches here and there. One cannot walk into the pavillion, cannot wander freely on the grounds and must follow an assigned one-way path, but still, it was lovely. Really. The golden pavillion, the calm lake, the 'islands' with tiny trees and/or bushes in the lake. Funny, but I must admit that it was serene despite the presence of so many tourists.

I think, given a chance I would like to visit other places in Kyoto. So many exotic places waiting to be visited - the Silver pavilion, the verandah without a single nail, the row of little shops selling souvenirs in Nenenomichi area... Maybe even try to shoot a picture of a geisha or maiko walking in Gion.

Some claim that Kinkakuji could be a waste of time - being too far from central Kyoto and not that close to other Kyoto's treasures. Still, I guess we were satisfied to have a taste of Kyoto by visiting Kinkakuji and boarding the city/sightseeing bus that day. Oh - and a macha ice cream at the end of the visit, made a beautiful tip of the iceberg.

Wanita materialistik?

That's the topic discussed in "Chit-chat Pagi" segment on MuzikFm this morning.

The callers on the radio seemed to basically agree that most women are materialistic - to different extent.

1. There are those "pisau cukur" type who will only fall for/date/marry rich guys because they look at the money factor first and foremost. This is the kind that most male callers talked about - the kind that give women a bad name.
2. Then, there are those who expect the guys to have more than them because they don't want to end up being the one to be the bread winner in the family. They feel that if they married those who are beneath themselves, then they are not doing justice to the future children because they fail to choose a responsible father. If they married those who do not earn at least as much as they do if not more, then they are not giving themselves much self respect because they are willing to stoop low and who knows how much lower they have to stoop later on. This group seemed to form the majority of the female callers, parents included ("Saya tak nak lah anak saya kahwin dengan orang yang pangkat dan gaji rendah dari anak saya, nanti apa saya nak jawab kalau orang tanya saya tak sayang anak ke?") .
3. Then, there are a few who believe in 'jodoh and rezeki di tangan Allah'. Yes, it is important that the guy has to be responsible and proves that he is willing to work hard to provide for the family. But who is to say that when you marry someone who doesn't earn that much, it will remain that way for the rest of your life? Who is to say that when you marry someone who earn a lot it will remain that way for the rest of your life? And if that happened, will you leave him just because he doesn't earn as much as he used to?

When Rasulullah married Saidatina Khadijah - she was a millionaire and he was working for her. In other words - she made a lot more than he did, but that did not deter her from marrying him as she fell for his sincerity, honesty, loyalty and good manners. Their marriage remained intact until Saidatina Khadijah passed away. For the duration of their marriage Rasulullah never married another. He only practised polygamy after Saidatina Khadijah passed away (a fact that many Ustaz seems to forget to include in their text when talking about polygamy in Islam) And even when he married others, his wives - including Saidatina Aisyah - were jealous of his deep love for Saidatina Khadijah.

Ah, but then he was a prophet. Maksum. Special.

Personally, I believe in looking more at the guy's attitudes than how much money he has. The attitudes go a long way insya Allah, the money, wallahua'lam. And of course, asking for Allah's guidance through solat istikharah is very important before one agrees to marry anybody. Merely using our head and heart is not enough without Allah's guide, so I believe istikharah is a HUGE factor in determining the 'one'.

I've seen some friends and relatives marrying someone who earns/earned less than themselves but alhamdulillah their marriages remain intact until today. I've seen a lady executive who married her boss' driver. Another lady executive married a clerk in the same office. The wives might be the main bread winner in the family, but both the husbands and wives don't let that bother them much. They both learned to take the meaning of "tolerance", "acceptance" and "respect" to another level compared to other 'common' couples.

So, is it true that most women are (or need to be at least a little) materialistic ?

E-Office for Orang Gomen

Is the Malaysian civil service really ready to adopt the home office concept?

Beginning January 2010, a selected group of 35 Public Works Department (JKR) draughtsmen will start working from home in a pioneer E-office initiative on a trial basis of 3 months. The programme will cease if productivity does not increase.

The KSN was reported as saying, "I also work from home. But I also work from my car, and when I go back to my hometown, I take my work with me. In this age of the Blackberry and Internet, it is not impossible to work from one's home."

Yeah, I know many of us government officers - who were often accused of being lazy and goyang kaki having nothing to do - take our work back home and continue working even at home.
But that's an extension of working at office. Now, now, if this work from home concept is going to be extended to other schemes in the civil service - that'll be like dream come true to many...

But who can actually work from home?
And should some groups in the civil service be given 'priority' of sort to work from home?

We know that for instance - policemen, firemen, doctors, nurses, teachers - can't work from home. So, who can? So far, it seems like the option is only open to those whose work is ICT based - draughtsmen, ICT support, CRM support and other technical persons whose work is all computer-and-internet-based.

Yes, the e-office concept is workable. It might help reducing the need to rent massive workplace, ease road congestion, reduce the burden on civil servants in terms of petrol expenses and travel time and allow them to spend more time with their families. E-office means one has 24 hours at his or her disposal in sorting out the work schedule instead of the usual 9 hours in the office.

Maybe the e-office will work well for 'disabled' civil servants - those who have disabilities due to accidents or are suffering from chronic diseases.

Maybe it'll provide a solution for mothers with small children who still want to work but don't want to spend so much time away from their children, especially when the children are sick and unwell. And yes, it'll be so easy to practise exclusive breastfeeding when the mother is working from home.

Maybe it'll help those who have to take care of sick and elderly parents/siblings/relatives.

And maybe it will work well for those who need to work in "bersunyi-sunyi" condition. The ICT guy/artist who has to come up with creative ideas to produce montage or documentaries for example. The chance to work alone in isolation might be good when one is in a project that requires intense and specific concentration.

So - it seems like a good policy, this e-office thingy. By allowing civil servants to work from home, the government might not lose those who are experts in their respective fields to untimely resignations or premature retirements. If the experts in the respective fields are retained, then this might help ensuring efficiency and boosting productivity in the public service.

Question: What about the control mechanisms to be used so that those who cannot work from home and still have to go to the office will not feel discriminated against those who are allowed to work from home?

Lets say Mr A is a draughtsman who is allowed to work from home, and
Mr B is a technician who has to go to the office.

Mr A might claim that since he works from the office, it's okay for him to go and lepak at Restoran Mamak at anytime he pleases, so long as he submitted all the sheets as required by his office.
Mr B, should him be caught at the same Restoran Mamak during the conventional working hour, could be subjected to disciplinary procedures. Notwithstanding the fact that he has finished all the tasks required from him.

Lets say Ms Y is a IT technician working on a creative montage and allowed to work from home, and Ms Z is a clerk who has to go to the office.

Ms Y might claim that she deserve to go to the shopping mall for a 'retail therapy' during the day after working long nights to produce the said montage.
Ms Z, should she be found undergoing a 'retail therapy' at the mall during office hour could be subjected to disciplinary procedures.

What is the definition of "absence" from work for those who work from home?
How does one apply for official leave when one is working from home?
How to determine the "lenght of time" (tempoh masa) of a person who work at home to be as adequate compared to his or her colleagues who work at the office?
Who is responsible to exercise disciplinary control and supervision over those who work from home?
What if those who work from home immerse themselves with immoral activities, or spend more time doing part-time jobs for additional income then concentrating on their 'real' job, although they get to claim for eletricity/internet connection/telephone bills?
What about the security aspects of those government assets in the E-office? The computers, expensive softwares, web cams, etc?

Personally, I like the idea of working from home.
But how to go about executing it as to be fair to everybody in the civil service still bothers me...

How To Cram for an Exam

Cramming - some say it is an 'inevitable' part of student life. Or at least, part of a government-servants-who-still- have-to-take-PTK-exams life. Heh.

Yeah, so it is not the ideal style of study, but I believe there are many of us who cram, and who like me, wait until the very last minute to submit our assignments (Hubby used to nag me on this - if the paper was due at 12.00 noon, chances were I would be writing my conclusion at around 11.30 a.m. Yes, I'm a self-confessed procrastinator).

So, how to cram for an exam?

1. Compose yourself. Relax, take several deep breaths to clear the mind.
2. Recite "bismillah" and any 'doa penerang hati'. Remember the one we used to read before the Ustaz/Ustazah begin teaching 'Agama', that goes - "Allahummaftah 'alaina hikmataka wanshur 'alaina min khoza inirohmatika ya arhamarrahimin"...
3. Cover the most difficult information first.
4. Review the main points, general ideas and broad, sweeping concepts - this help understanding the more detailed points
5. Read different materials at different speed. Skim lecture notes (your own or borrowed ones); speed-read less important items, deliberate on critical and difficult works.
6. Take breaks to solat, eat, stretch, relax or exercise. As a general rule, one should take a break for 10 minutes out of every hour.
7. Jot down quick notes, questions or thoughts -it helps improve retention of important points.
8. Nourish yourself - go easy on caffeine and sugar, eat good meals with a balanced ratio of carbohydrates to proteins plus plenty of fruits, vegetables and water.
9. Avoid staying up all night. But if it cannot be avoided, I've been told that repetitious reading of surah Al-Lahab might help to keep one stay awake all night long.

* Adapted from "Cram for an Exam", chapter 9 in Collins eHow "How to do just about everything in the Office", 2004

What's with the "Tuan'?

One poster announced the date & venue of a talk for young PTD.
Written there was the name of the speaker, beginning with "Tuan".
Being a senior officer, I recognize his name and I know that his name does not start with "Tuan". I found that a bit funny - to be addressed as "tuan" in his capacity as a senior officer is one thing, to have his name written as "Tuan XYZ" on the poster announcing the details of a talk is another.

Next to the poster was another poster announcing the details of a workshop, " Do Your Make up Right". The speaker is a reknown male Lancome make-up artist. Nope, no "Tuan" there in his name. Just his name.

Granted, you can't compare a senior PTD to a make-up artist. But was it really necessary to write the former's name beginning with "Tuan"? What's wrong with just "Encik"?

I asked another PTD and she said that "Tuan" is a symbol of respect while "Encik" is too common, you can address simply anybody, the support staff included, as "Encik", but "Tuan" is reserved to the respected ones only.

I must admit that sometimes I feel uneasy when people say that we PTD are a snobbish and arrogant lot. That we like to distance ourselves from the "marha'en". That we, after years of being told to be the "creme de la creme" in the government service, are a Syok Sendiri lot who have huge tendencies to "berlagak", "bongkak", "sombong". But this is exactly the kind of behavior that might lead to the misperception of PTD being the snobbish and arrogant lot. Why do we need to distinguish "Tuan" from "Encik" just because "Encik" is a common way to address everybody? What made us so special?

I don't believe in distancing myself from the support staff or lower officer. That was not the example shown by Rasulullah - he never distanced himself from anybody. If Rasulullah, the numero uno for Muslims never distanced himself from others, who are we - hamba Allah yang serba dhaif - to do so?

So, I found the "Tuan" thingy on the poster a bit disturbing. It is as if we PTD are full of ourselves - when one cannot address a senior PTD with a Dr. or Dato'/Datuk/Tan Sri etc, it has to be "Tuan" then. Addressing a person with "tuan" in real life or in a formal letter/memo does not sound so bad - but on a poster? I mean, seriously?

Again, my question is - what's wrong with using the good ol' "Encik"?
If an 'Encik' was equated to 'Mister', and 'Tuan' to 'Sir', what's wrong with being addressed as a Mister and not a Sir?

How to make small talk

1. Practise. Converse with everyone you encounter - cashiers, waiters, people you're in a queue with, neighbours, co-workers. Chat with people unlike yourself, from the elderly to kids to tourists.
2. Read everything - cookbooks, newspapers, magazines, reviews, signs, catalogues. Everything could provide information that might turn into interesting conversations
3. Immerse yourself in culture, both 'high' and 'low'. TV, music, sports, art and poetry are great sources of chat - whether you are for or against.
4. Expand your horizons. Go home a new way. Try sushi. Play paintball or lawn bowling. Paint a watercolour or a house. Just try something new.
5. Be a better listener. Observe stories that you hear, remember things that you see and you might get an opportunity to share needed info through making small talk.
6. Test yourself - see what you have to say on a random list of topics. Golf, China, soy protein, hip-hop, shoes - the more varied your list, the better.
7. The more you know, the more you know you can talk about.

* Adapted from "Make Small Talk", chapter 170 in Collins eHow "How to do just about everything in the Office", 2004

When he came home late

"Guess who'll reach home first, Ayah or us?," I playfully asked Huzaifah when we started our journey back to Putrajaya after being away from home for four days. I was asked to give a talk in Langkawi, so I thought it would be good to visit my biological mother on the way back, thus I brought all three boys with me, together with my helper and Mak's helper. It was my third trip to Langkawi this year, but the first in which I had to drive all the way to Kuala Perlis alone (during previous trips, I either drove a little or not at all)

We stopped by at Kampung Tunku first on our way back from Kedah. It was almost 10.00 p.m. when I started driving back to Putrajaya, hence me questioning Huzaifah. Hubby had to teach in Labu, his routine on the second and the fourth Sundays of every month, and his 'class' usually ends at around 9.30p.m. followed by dinner which usually ends at 10.30 p.m. or sometimes later.
I thought hubby would be home by 11.30 or 12 midnight the latest. I called his handphone but was immediately connected to his voicemail. When there was no sign of him arriving after midnight, my helper asked me if I would like her to accompany me waiting upstairs. That's our normal routine, when hubby is not around, my bibik would sleep with the children upstairs instead of in her own room downstairs just to keep me company.

I called his handphone again - and got the voicemail.
Numerous calls placed at different times got the same response - the voicemail.

I began to worry.
It's not like hubby to return late without calling first. Or an SMS, at the very least.
Labu is still a remote place after all - with the quiet, large, dark plantations and all.
Anything could happen and there might not be coverage for the phone.
He was not using our car but had to loan my cousin Faiz's Myvi, and who knows what could happen in that dark secluded area where it would not be easy to get access to a tow truck should anything unbecoming happened...

I started making do'a for him. I thought of calling my MIL's place in Seremban, but it was already late and I did not want to bother my MIL at such hour. After all, it could be nothing and I didn't want her - with her hypertension and all - to start fretting about nothing.

But still, I was worried.
Think, think, what could be his reason to be late? "Maybe he went to give the old Imam a visit," or so I told myself, to calm myself down. Hubby had told me about the Imam who had twice experienced stroke and is currently undergoing treatment using BioDisc and already there seems to be signs of recovery for the Imam.

When Baby Haniyya woke up for his midnight/early morning feed at around 2.00 a.m., hubby was still not back.

When Huzaifah 'mengigau' at around 4.00 a.m., hubby was still not back.

While one part of my mind told myself to stay calm, that nothing was wrong; the other half of my mind went "what if? what if?" with all sort of horror stuff. Yes, my imagination can run wild sometimes...

When hubby finally returned at about 5.30 a.m. I wanted to simultaneously punch him and hug him. I kissed his hands instead.

"Why are you late?". It's hard not to sound like a nagging wife after one long restless night.

"Oh, I left something in Rasah, so I went back to Rasah after the class was over in Labu. I felt sleepy so I thought of taking a short nap first before returning home..."

"Why didn't you call?"

"The battery went dead and I really thought it was going to be a short nap. I mean, I didn't intend to spend the night there, but..." He smiled weakly.

Heh, good thing I'm not the kind that stabs her husband when he comes home late.
Seriously, a phone call could put all those unnecessary worries away.
But then, the main point was, he was safe and sound and back home in one piece...
Right then, that's what mattered most and I was really grateful for that, alhamdulillah.
So I gave him a hug.
A tight hug.
And uttered a thankful do'a quietly.

Hero-hero

Huzaifah and Humaidi refused to sit still in the ferry, all the way from Kuala Perlis to Langkawi.
Nothing - no cajoling, persuasion, threats or even cubit - worked to make them stay in the seat for a long time. They ran along the aisle, climbed the windows to take a peek at the ocean and isles, and tried to climb the ladder leading to the VIP area in the ferry.

Good thing that Mak agreed to loan her helper during this trip, so at least I could pass the baton to the younger girl to chase my kids around the ferry. My helper took turn with her chasing & grabbing Huzaifah and Humaidi while I took care of Baby Haniyya. Alhamdulillah Baby Haniyya is not old enough to join his brothers in the merry chase...

I knew that the passengers must had been disturbed by Huzaifah's and Humaidi's shrieks and gleeful cries but there was little I could do to make them completely stop. I nodded and smiled weakly at other passengers around us - pleading silently that they would understand and forgive me for my children behaviour.

But guess who did I see upon entering the hotel lobby after we arrived in Langkawi?
The same group of people who boarded the ferry with me.
And as if it was not enough - Huzaifah demanded a ride in the luggage trolley - insisting that it was his Thomas train and not merely a trolley for transporting luggages. (Alhamdulillah by then Humaidi was asleep - perhaps exhausted due to his non-stop running/climbing/shrieking in the ferry). All the drama in front of the same crowd we had in the ferry.

So, it was no wonder that, when he passed us by, a guy in a ketayap commented to my helper - "Hero hero semuanya, ya?"

Aduh!

Makcik-makcik?

"What happened? Why do you look so makcik-makcik now?"

Alamak!

We haven't seen each other for a year - the last meeting just a brief one while he was waiting for his domestic posting after his term in Bangkok was over. I was happy to be able to meet him while I was in Kuantan yesterday, attending a discussion there. He was among my earliest colleagues, as we used to work in the same department in the old Ministry. Apart from both of us being law graduates from UK - he from Cardiff and I from Leeds, he also married an old classmate in NCUK. And we certainly had gone through a lot together - being under the same irresponsible boss and a workaholic bigger boss. I know Ali has always been honest with me, but well, I was still a bit shocked to hear him making that statement about me looking like a 'makcik'...

I looked at my own picture on his digital camera. He had a point. A valid point. The person standing next to him in the picture looked more like a 'makcik' than someone in her thirties.

Adoi!

Maybe it was the color of my baju kurung, or the glasses, or that I still have a lot of "baby fat" to dispose of - but he had a valid point. I know for a fact that I do look older wearing glasses than contact lenses, but lately after the infection case I went through during Raya, I prefer wearing glasses than lenses.

Oh well...

With Ernie, a clerk in my office who I've grown to love like my own sister

Mak & Ayah's 25th Wedding Anniversary

They say that it calls for a celebration when a couple remain together for a quarter of a century, so I guess that's what prompted Ayah - who for the first time ever, made it a point to celebrate his wedding anniversary with us the children.

We had dinner at Paya Serai Restaurant in PJ Hilton, after my younger brother Abang (who btw has been featured in this month's International Business Journal) reported that the restaurant Ayah was hoping to go to in Section 14 was closed. So PJ Hilton was it.

It was quite a quiet family dinner with just us kids minus the grandchildren. The food was okay (I expected it to be better - proof that it has been long since I last had a meal in PJ Hilton), the price reasonable (less than RM50 per pax) and the chic interior design with metallic and silver shades made an appropiate setting for a dinner celebrating a silver wedding anniversary.

Dear Mak & Ayah,

Twenty five (or twenty four plus one) years of marriage is an amazing feat, especially in this world where statistics had shown that half of all marriages end in divorce. Alhamdulillah, yours remained.

We hope that the ups and downs, the good times and the bad times, the trials and the joyous ocassions, the laughters and the tears, the itches, glitches and gleeful moments, happiness and sorrows, joy and losses that you have endured and gone through together shall serve as the glue that will keep you together with the blessings of Allah subhana wa taala.

Here's a loving do'a that Allah will keep on blessing you with love, patience, courage and strength for both of you to keep on being committed and dedicated to each other.

"In marriage, do thou be wise;
prefer the person before the money,
virtue before beauty
the mind before the body"

With love,
Kak & Amin
2 November 2009

What kindness is...

"Kindness... has an optimal level that makes it a virtue as opposed to a vice.
Too little or too much transforms it into something ugly or suspect.
Too much courage can make one foolhardy,
too much pride can make one haughty,
too much politeness can make one officious,
too much love can make one covetous,
and too much kindness can make one a dupe"

"Leading with kindness", William Baker, Michael O'Malley

What should I do...

I haven't gone to the gym for months now.
I should start going again.

I haven't started writing my 'Travelog di Bumi Sakura'.
I should start writing it.

I haven't visited the list of possible kindergartens/Taski for Huzaifah
I should start visiting.

I need to strenghten threads of relationships to become ropes
I should start working on them.

I feel like I might be happier if I could contribute positively to another's life
But unlike when I was a Malaysian-MA-student-cum-an-Imam's-wife in Tokyo,
I am not quite sure how to play my current role effectively to achieve that.

I know I should start making changes.
Can anyone tell me where to start?

All pink - part 2

All pink in the office

"So you wore pink - what difference does it make to a breast cancer sufferer? Wearing pink without putting in effort or contributing towards cancer research or as such, is simply meaningless..."

Someone uttered in a tone laced with disdain.

Ok, granted, I've never contributed financially towards breast cancer research.
And to my limited knowledge, no one in my family had suffered from breast cancer.
And that day when the whole sector wore pink, nobody suggested for us to make financial contribution towards cancer research.
But others from different sectors noticed us wearing pink and asked us why.
That to me, was our small contribution towards raising awareness of breast cancer.
It shows, in a small way, (perhaps insignificant to some) that we care.


Personally, I don't pass by the red cooking oil, Carotino in the supermarket aisle without remembering Auntie Umi, my friend Aidil's mother. It came as a big surprise when we first learned about Auntie Umi's illness. She breastfed all 4 children, no one in her family had been diagnosed with cancer before, she was an active person and pretty much lived and ate healthily. Proof that it could happen to anyone - regardless of what the doctors list as risk factors.

What I do remember about her -
She fought hard, but she did not became all hard and bitter in her fight.
She cried, but she also smiled, putting up a brave front so that others would not cry for her.
She must had gone through lot of pain, but I remember her jovial self more .
In her quiet tone when she answered questions about her pain , I could sense her strong determination to fight, fight, fight until the last drop.
She made a lot of changes in her diet and her lifestyle - Carotino and plenty of soy milk forming part of it.

I did not have the opportunity to visit her when her condition must had deteriorated towards the end of her life, but I'm sure that she must had gone in peace.
There was a lot of strength shown by someone who could accept her condition, fought hard yet still counted her blessings and at peace with herself.


So, yes, perhaps wearing pink might constitute a small, insignificant thing to do, when many are fighting the cancer and others are taking care of their loved ones who had been diagnosed with this cancer.
Still, the main intention is to show our support and letting those who are suffering to know that they are not alone, that people actually do care, and that some of them (like Auntie Umi to me) are in our heart, thoughts and prayers.

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"My Only Wish"

A poem read by an 8 year old boy at Criminalise War International Conference & Exhibition, Kuala Lumpur, 28 September 2009

My Only Wish

All your armies

All your fighters

All your tanks

And all your soldiers

Against a boy

Holding a stone

Standing there, all alone

In his eyes, I see the sun

In his smile, I see the moon

And I wonder, I only wonder

Who is weak, and who is strong?

Who is right, and who is wrong?

And I wish, I only wish

That the truth, has begun

* Picture taken from here

Rampai Raya 1430H - the pics

Some pictures taken during Raya season
Yes, I know, yet another belated post...
Still, late is better than never, kan?

Raya morning - when Humaidi went cranky and refused to stand still

Taken when Humaidi was calmer but apparently the baton had been passed over to Huzaifah. Well, looks like it's going to be some years before we can take 'proper' family Raya photo...

Raya afternoon - when the kids' baju melayu went all smeared with don't-know-whats

(taken during a short interval at MIL's place before we continued visiting others)

Hubby had a change of clothes too, because otherwise people keep mistaken his nephews and niece as his

(baju sama warna)

Ayah really enjoyed his newly found long-lost-favorite nasi kandar - licin pinggan, with my brother Amirul in a finger lickin' good pose.

Part of the Hj Hassan clan in a kopitiam in Penang

My brother Azrul, SIL Sarah (who was then heavily pregnant with baby Balqis) & Uwais

Baby Haniyya

Huzaifah and Humaidi watching TV

For some reason, I found the mock 'tie' that comes with Humaidi's/Haniyya's shirt to be quite cute

Chik Ma, Pak Chik, Ayah Tam and Mak Tam sharing a light moment during breakfast

The Hj Hassan clan basically 'conquered' all the tables next to the pool during breakfast.

Seen here: Teh, Atiqah, Ayah Lang - with Firdhaus and Eda in the background

Nyah, Ijan, Ain, Iman, Mak and Syahril

Among the male cousins

Huzaifah and Humaidi had a gall time in the swimming pool

Huzaifah especially loves basking in the sun and playing with the white beach sand

The 3 families reunion at Che Lee's place in Taman PKNK, Alor Setar

All Pink - Breast Cancer Awareness

SMS from the sectoral boss' Personal Assisstant last night read as:

"Dear Sir/Madam,
We in the sector have agreed to wear pink tomorrow to raise awareness of the Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Join us?"

Pink for the ladies is no big deal, yet for the guys could be quite a problem. Oh well, at least chances are, none of them would be suspended for wearing pink at work.

In the sectoral esprit de corp, I put on a pair of pink baju kurung. Not a big deal for me - I have two pairs of pink baju kurung. Although I'm not a fan of pink, I've been told that I look better in pink compared to more earthy tones which I preferred. Ehcheh.

Anyway - the main point is to raise awareness for Breast Cancer, and I think that's a noble cause worthy of support especially among the ladies. Turned out - four male officers wear pink today, with one wearing red striped shirt and yet another puts on a red tie since they have neither pink shirts nor pink ties. Well, I supposed that could still be considered as in support of the "let's wear pink" campaign. An elder officer joked that the nearest-to-pink piece of garment he owns is a pair of brief, but surely no one cares to see him wearing his brief in Superman style (urghhhh, nooooo...)

Anyway, why bother asking everyone's support? Well, according to the American Cancer Society, roughly 1,720 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009. It might not affect the men as much as women but still, Breast Cancer affects everyone.

#####

* Risk factors of Breast Cancer

• Personal history: A woman who had breast cancer in one breast has an increased risk of getting cancer in her other breast.
• Family history: A woman's risk of breast cancer is higher if her mother, sister, or daughter had breast cancer. The risk is higher if her family member got breast cancer before age 40. Having other relatives with breast cancer (in either her mother's or father's family) may also increase a woman's risk.
• Certain changes: Some women have cells in the breast that look abnormal under a microscope. Having certain types of abnormal cells (atypical hyperplasia and lobular carcinoma in situ [LCIS]) increases the risk of breast cancer.
• Race: Breast cancer is diagnosed more often in Caucasian women than others
• Inactivity: Women who are physically inactive throughout life may have an increased risk of breast cancer. Being active may help decrease risk.

Easy steps to help curtail one's chances of getting breast cancer:

1. Stay at ideal weight
2. Exercise. As little as 30 minutes a day will help.
3. Follow a healthy diet, eat right.
4. No smoking.
5. Go for timely health check-ups; early detection is the best defense.

* (Source: Wikipedia)

P/S: While it's quite late in the month, I'll keep this pink template until the end of this month, insya Allah

Tragedi Oktober

Some stuff that happened in October...

• The ceiling fan in Mak's house went on fire one Sunday night.
• A thief forced an entry into MIL's house in Rasah.
• My biological mother broke her knee when she stumbled over a child bar meant for my half-brother's child at the toilet.

1. That night we were in Kampung Tunku. Hubby and I were both exhausted and planned on returning to Putrajaya after a nap. Next thing we knew, our helper was yelling "Pak Ustaz! Kakak! Api! Api!" Quickly woke hubby up and went down. The ceiling fan in the living hall glowed with fire as some flames dropped and crackled on the carpet beneath it.

"Air! (Water) Air!" Ayah shouted in the otherwise dark house, as Ayah had already shut the main electricity switch off. "Bawak anak-anak keluar! Keluar!" he ordered my helper

The house had partially burnt down due to a fire caused by electrical short circuit in 1987. Seeing the ceiling fan on fire caused a small chaos for a while.

Someone collected water in buckets (in the dark) and hubby was the one strong enough to hurl the water high enough to reach the high ceiling fan. I remember helping removing the carpet from beneath the blazing ceiling fan which had started dripping too.

I asked Mak who has called 999, but in the confusion everybody seemed to forget to bring our handphone. I quickly went up and groped for my handphone on the bed, found it and quickly went down. By then the fire had already been extinguished, so it was no longer necessary to call the fire engine.

"Call TNB," Mak (or was it Ayah?) instructed. I tried called the directory assistance number and asked for TNB emergency number. Was asked to call 15454, the 24/7 TNB Careline number. Could not call 15454 on my U Mobile phone, so switched to Mak's Celcom line. (In the chaos, Ayah's phone somehow got wet and could not be used) and succeeded in getting to TNB.

TNB was aware that something was wrong with the electricity supply in our house. Just when I uttered "No 8..." the guy on the line quickly finished reading out the house address. Hmm, impressive... He wanted to confirm to location of "Kampung Tunku" (in Petaling Jaya) and said that some TNB guys would be with us soon.

"Soon" turned out to be 40-50 minutes. Two guys, Siva and Ramesh, came and checked on the electricity main switch, reprimanded us for extinguishing the fire using water (as it could conduct electricity and cause electrical shock when the water reached the floor) and assured us that it was okay for us to switch on lights and all again.

While we had learned about water being electric conductor ages ago, and Ayah actually has a proper fire extinguisher in his room, none of us remembered these two facts when we first realized that the ceiling fan was on fire. (Yeah, blame it on being panic.)

No wonder there was a strong burning smell since early evening but we could not track its origin. According to my helper, at around 11 p.m., when the other helper (my brother's who later on ran away) started switching off the lights in the ground floor, the fan suddenly started moving. My helper asked the other helper if she had switched on the ceiling fan, to which she adamantly replied no. And then the ceiling fan started to emit some orangish lights, followed by some crackles, and whoosh - it was on fire!

To be continued

Rampai Raya 1429H - part 3

26. The highlight of the Hj Hassan clan gathering - BBQ night. At RM35 per pax, it was quite a feast. However, hubby had a headache and our helper wanted to stay with baby Haniyya in the room with Ayah Tam's helper, so I could not enjoy the food thorough and thorough. Not when I had to ensure that Huzaifah and Humaidi would not dive into the tempting swimming pool.

27. I had not a single photo of the BBQ night.

28. And it was not fun when hubby did not came down to join the BBQ at all. Hence he did not join the big family photo session. Really felt a bit awkward being in the family photo shoot without my hubby beside me.

29. Although I repeatedly told my aunts that it's hubby's normal reaction to sleep off his headache, my cousin Atiqah and Syifa' were both reprimanded by their respective mother for 'causing trouble for me with my husband'. (Interestingly, both aunt are also married to Ustaz)

30. One aunt in fact told me that I should cut down on all-girl's day out or lunch, when I told her that normally hubby has no problem allowing me to go for all-girl's day out.

31. Happened that on that particular day hubby was not too happy with me taking ages to get back to the hotel (because he had to take care of the kids. Our helper mistakenly thought that I was back with him so she sent the toddlers to our room and hubby found it difficult to handle the kids on his own)

32. The reason it took so long for me to get back? Massive traffic jam from Queensbay mall to Tanjung Tokong due to heavy rain. Our journey to Queensbay Mall lasted for about 30 minutes but the return journey took more than an hour. Good thing there were some DVDs on board, so the girls watched "Aliens in the Attic" while I struggled in the traffic jam.

33. However, I don't think just because I was late once I should be penalized from having any all-girl's day out ever. Truth is, I seldom have any and seldom get to have lunch with girlfriends too. Everybody is always so busy and so occupied that it's difficult to organize even one all-girls's day out. And sometimes, when a friend finally get to organize it, I could not make it due to other commitments.

34. Anyway, we had a better day the next day. Visited Ummi in Sungai Petani, had a reunion of sort in Alor Setar and spent the night in Pendang.

35. It was great meeting both Che Lee's family and Pokcik's family in Alor Setar. When Che Lee and Kak Ita found out that we were in Penang and going to visit my biological mother in Sungai Petani, they quickly invited us over to their home in Taman PKNK, Alor Setar. "Take the Alor Setar Utara exit and I'll meet you there," or so Che Lee promised.

36. True to his word, he did met us up at the highway exit, but after being held up in another place because his other guest confused a building in Taman PKNK with Wisma PKNK or something. No worry, we assured him. We were happy just being able to meet up with him and family.

37. And his other guests were no stranger to us - it's Pokcik Nasa and his family. While hubby and I had met up with Pokcik since we came back from Japan, we hadn't had a chance to meet up with Kak Mai and his kids, and it's been two years since we last met up.

38. As for Che Lee, Kak Ita and kids, they'd just came back for good in April 2009 and we haven't meet up since a year ago.

39. Kak Ita made us really delicious laksa. She said sorry for the famous laksa teluk kechai stall was not opened on that day or otherwise we could have a taste of the famous delicious laksa. But really, after almost a week of ketupat, lemang, rendang and stuff, her "laksa Taman PKNK" tasted like heaven.

40. The kids had really grown up so quickly. No wonder last time Ayah's relatives used to say "dah besar dah ye" everytime they visit my grandparents' place. I had the urge to say exactly the same thing to my friends' kids. The one thing that held me back was the thought that crossed my mind when I was greeted with such comment "Laa, it goes without saying that kids grow up. You don't expect them to grow smaller, right?"

41. I was especially impressed with Nazhan Ariq, Pokcik's youngest. Barely 3 years old and already he handles his dad's expensive DSLR Nikon camera expertly. "That's his toy," Kak Mai quipped. Hah, my guess is he is a chip off the old block in making, inheriting Pokcik's creativity and productivity when it comes to photography.

42. True to their adventurous nature, Huzaifah and Humaidi raised a small ruckus in Che Lee's house. Good thing that Che Lee kids have some stuff that could distract the smaller ones for a while - they keep some hamsters. Fascinated by the 'tikus' that he saw then, for a while Huzaifah keeps asking to watch the 'tikus' also known as "G-Force" DVD in the car.

43. "Yeay!" comment heard during raya: "You looked thinner" (from someone who hadn't seen me in a few month)
"Ouch!" comment heard during raya: "Nampak dah bertambah (berat) noo" (from someone who hadn't seen me in a year)
Truth: I'd shed about 2 kg during fasting month and gained about 600 gm since Raya.

44. Spent the night at hubby's friend, Ustaz Ghazali's house in Pendang. He had some trouble regarding change of scheme under the old SSB to SSM (he deserved to be graded as DGA29 but was graded as DGA27) Helped him out a bit some months ago and he told us that if everything goes well, he had been told by the state education office that he'll be getting his long overdue extra pay soon and he might get a time-based promotion too, insya Allah.

45. The next day was not a great day for us though. Huzaifah had an asthma attack. First took him to a clinic - and it was hard finding a clinic opened on Friday, the day off in Kedah. A patient in the clinic recommneded us to take him to the Klinik Kesihatan Pendang.

46. Took him to Klinik Kesihatan Pendang, but the government clinic was closed. No one manned the "Emergency" area. Went back to the private clinic, this time we waited patiently for our turn to be called in by the doctor. And told by the doctor that due to the seriousness of Huzaifah's condition, we had to take him to the hospital in Alor Setar.

47. So we drove all the way back to Alor Setar, to Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah. A real efficient hospital - Huzaifah got his nebulizer treatment in no time at all. In fact, right after he got his share of 'gas', he started wandering all around the A&E unit while I had to wait for my turn to see the doctor.

48. Well, turned out that every morning, my eyes went all itchy, really, really red (like those owned by ghosts/demons in Hong Kong movies), the lids went all swollen, with lots of tears and yellowish goops (or locally known as "taik mata") that at times seemed to stick the lids together, especially after sleeping. The doctor confirmed that I'd gotten eye infection and issued an MC for four days.

49. I got flu too and got a one-day MC after the first ended. The week after Raya week, I only went to the office once. I took two more days off - because my eyes were still red and swollen and I did not want to cause infection in the office yet I was not keen to spend another long day in the government clinic to get another MC issued.

50. But after all is said and done - it was a good Raya, alhamdulillah. One must never forget the blessings showered by Allah in so many forms and guises - family, friends, good health, laughter and all. Alhamdulillah.

Rampai Raya 1430H - part 2

16. The Hj Hassan (my late Tok Ayah) clan had a family gathering in Naza Hotel Penang sponsored by Kumpulan Sakata Berhad, a company owned and managed by children of Hj Hassan. There we were - 8 children (and spouses), 36 grandchildren (minus some who are studying overseas plus some with spouses) and 5 (and 1/2) great grandchildren, in a gathering that was held for the first time in a hotel.

17. We spent two nights in the hotel - 2 suites, 8 deluxe and 6 standard rooms. And yes, often my cousins 'conquered' the lobby area, playing congkak, chess and other board games. The grandchildren age ranges from 30's to one year, so the majority are tweens and teenagers, and one can just imagine how 'meriah' the hotel was being filled up with the Hj Hassan clan.

18. Since it was the first time for us to have such gathering, there was no itinerary planned out. No sports matches or sukaneka activities or as such. Next time, maybe?

19. Next time hopefully it will not be held in Naza Hotel again. Service was terrible. My brother told me that his room was not made up even once throughout the stay. Some of my aunts and uncles who arrived at about 2.00 p.m. which is the standard hour for checking-in had to wait until 5.30 p.m. to check in because they were told that there was only one person who was on duty to make up rooms in the whole hotel.

20. On the second day, we were told by the reception desk that some occupants in deluxe rooms may had to move to standard rooms because our reservation was only for 2D1N and not 3D1N. My youngest brother who was in charge of the reservation said he asked for "two days", the hotel misunderstood it as staying for 2D1N which translated into common man's language as "one night" where else my Adik meant "two nights". We were told that some reservations for deluxe rooms had been completed and that mean the seniors (those who occupied the deluxe rooms) had to move. Not sure how my uncle Ayah Tam sorted it out with the hotel management - but in the end none of the Hj Hassan clan had to move to other rooms. My guess is that the hotel had to refund those who made reservation for deluxe rooms but had to be placed in standard rooms...

21. Ayah had a field day finding an old favorite nasi kandar stall was back in business. Previously he went to that particular kopitiam only to find out that the old nasi kandar operator had stopped operating there.

22. Hubby had a field day snapping photos in Padang Kota area

23. I had a field day went outing with four female cousins - Firdhaus, Atiqah and Syifa'. Wanted to ask our cousin Syahril's wife Ain to join us but when we knocked on her door there was no answer.

24. It's amazing what my younger cousins could remember about the crushes (and the crushed ones) I used to have. Atiqah actually remembered that not only I used to have kuih raya sent to the office but one guy in particular actually sent some batang buruk (my favorite kuih raya) to my home in person - with the younger cousins watching/spying behind the front door that caused him to blush. Ha ha.

25. We wanted to visit Masni's family in Bayan Baru. Attempted once to drive from Tanjung Tokong to Bayan Baru at night but ended up back in square one after almost an hour of driving. However, the next day we ended up going to Queensbay Mall - which is not that far from Bayan Baru - in no time at all. Yeah, blame the poor signage in Penang, hi hi.

To be continued

Rampai Raya 1430H

It had been a busy month, and a rather stressful one, hence my posting the Raya entry long after it ended.

In 2007, we spent our last Raya in Nihon, so friends and family in Malaysia urged me to do a lengthy report on it.
In 2008, we returned to Malaysia during Ramadhan and spent our first-after-3-Raya's-in-Nihon in Malaysia, so friends and almost-family in Nihon wondered how it went, urging me to at least make do with an update.
This year, there was no real sense of urgency to report.
Still, all in all, it was a good Raya, especially in terms of get-togethers...

1. We went back to Kampung Tunku the night before Raya eve. My helper thought that we would drop her at her friend's place that night but it was really late so we brought her back to Mak's place. She insisted on being given a day off on Raya or "kalau tidak, aku mau berenti". Yeah, I was threatened by my own bibik on Raya eve, although I already told her that she could take three days later on. Not wanting to make a big issue of it, we gave her 3 days (plus half day on day 4) off for Raya.

2. Raya eve was spent cooking in Mak's kitchen - Mak cooked some traditional Raya dishes such as kuah kacang, kuah lodeh, nasi himpit and rendang ayam while I cooked Thai style daging masak merah and daging pipi rebus.

3. Mak said that there would be no takbir group visiting us on malam Raya to which I agreed. We used to have the takbir group visiting us before - back when I was still single. Now with four kids in the house - and boisterous ones too - not having a takbir group coming over seems like a safer option for now...

4. Ayah was still undecided about inviting the takbir group to the house even until after Maghrib, causing SIL Sarah and I to be in a dilemma - whether or not to prepare some tea and snacks for the takbir group. But alas - Mak won. Yeay!

5. Baby Haniyya went to sleep at about 11 p.m., giving hubby and I an opportunity to sneak out of the house while Huzaifah and Humaidi were engrossed with "Thomas the tank engine and Friends" upstairs. Destination? Jalan TAR.

6. If one does not mind the crowd, the noises and the inconvenience of quite-a-distance parking-and-walking, shopping at Jalan TAR on malam Raya could be quite an experience. We learned our lesson from last year not to drive anywhere near Jalan TAR itself, so we (illegally) parked our car at Jalan Raja Laut. We had to walk quite a distance, but beats being stuck in traffic jam for hours (like what happened last year)

7. We already bought our baju raya but not much kuih raya so main mission that night was to buy kuih raya. But since there were plenty of bargains, our final haul included a lot of unplanned purchases too. Yes, I blamed the gila-gila bargain.

8. Seriously, where else on KL could one get ready-made Baju Kurung for RM25 a pair? Or 3 tudungs with soft awning for RM 10? Or a look-like-feel-like-but-not-real songket samping for RM20? And almond london cookies which normally cost RM15 - RM18 for just RM10 a tray?

9. When we finally returned to Kampung Tunku, it was around 3.00 a.m. But the sale was still going strong, making me wonder when did the malam Raya sale stop?

10. Since hubby had agreed to lead Solat Raya in Masjid Rasah, we had to return to Seremban that very night/early morning. Our journey back to Rasah began at about 4.00 a.m., and we reached our destination at almost 5.00 a.m. Hubby had to stop by the road side because he was so sleepy that I had to drive the last quarter of the journey.

11. 1st day of Raya, we visited 9 houses. Considering we once visited 11 houses in one day, that was not so bad. Hubby's family is a really big one. MIL's siblings - from various mothers - amount to almost 40. So there.

12. Our family theme this year? Turquoise. My ready made baju kurung is not really turquoise, more towards light blue - but it seemed to match well with baju melayu worn by hubby and the boys. No baju melayu for Baby Haniyya though but he did not look too bad in light blue baby suit.
13. There seemed to be an awfully lot of families choosing light blue/turquoise as their baju raya theme this year though. We met with at least one or two families donning the same color at almost every house we visited.

14. Hubby's younger brother's kids wore turquoise on Raya too but the parents wore purple, causing some confusion about the kids' parents. Ha ha.

15. I got a long distance phone call all the way from Swiss. It was so good hearing Ju's voice. The line was not really clear, but still it was a delightful surprise. Ju would probably said I did the same thing to her when I was in Japan but still, I was touched. That was so sweet and I love you so much Ju!

To be continued

08101970

When I read this, I suddenly remembered why earlier on I kept asking myself that there was something significant with October 8th, but what was it?

Back when we were students in residential school, we used to keep our mugs/tumblers along the wall of the dining hall. When I was in Form 4 or 5, when girls my age were nuts about Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Leonardo Di Caprio etc and one can find their names inscribed on many mug/tumblers (along with all the hearts, stars, flowers...), inscribed on my tumbler was

08101970
Hizairi

Yeah, I know, I was different that way.

Chances were girls in my form would know that I was nuts about Hizairi Othman's writing. They would tell me everytime they saw his writing appeared in Dewan Siswa, Fokus or in daily newspapers etc.

I used to write to him, commenting on his writing, in English, addressing him as Sir.
I can't actually remember what drove me to do so, but my guess was I wanted to be rather different compared to other fan letters he received.

I can't remember when I first started writing to him, but it was not until 1995 when I got his reply.
In that one typed page (in 1995, a typed page is not as common as it is today - it showed effort), he told me that he used to reply to all letters so as not to be labelled "sombong". But as time goes on and he got more girls writing "to learn writing" or "to get to know him better" or even to ask him to be their "abang angkat", he stopped responding.

But there was something different about my letters. All of them were written in English, with none inserting the "to learn writing"/"want to get to know him better"/offer to be "adik angkat". He admitted that he likes receiving my comments and that I was among a selected few of his favorite followers.

It wasn't until a year later when I first met him in person.
I just finished reading his "Spesimen β" when I learned that he was going to give a talk in Shah Alam. At that time, I'd just finished my A-Levels and was waiting to be called to NCUK so I had plenty of 'free time'. I decided to write my comments about "Spesimen β" and hand the letter in person to him.

I was the only one other than the teachers to appear in that particular school hall on that day who was not in school uniform, so the organizer invited me to meet up with Hizairi after he was done with giving his motivational talk. I took that opportunity to personally deliver the letter to him.

He looked at the envelope once and immediately looked up at me,
"Eh, you Azra ye? Azra Haida?"

I was speechless.
Simultaneously honored and humbled to realize that my favorite writer actually recognized my handwriting.

And from then on, the "fan-favorite writer" relationship gradually shifted to being friends.

We sent Raya card to each other. He would sent me copy of his writing when I told him I could not get my hand on them when I was in Leeds. Even when he won Formula Malaysia competition with "Bulan di Puncak Notre Dame", I found it difficult to find the story, so he made a copy of them and asked me to collect it at his pigeon hole in UPM. Back then, he was working as a tutor in UPM and my office was not that far from there. (Mak was on the interview panel when he applied for the post in UPM, and Mak told me that she could not understand why I was so fascinated with him and his writing - he was "biasa saja" as Mak put it, hehehe)

He came to my office once to collect his own birthday present. I remember buying him one dark blue kain pelikat and upon receiving it, he told me that he was just thinking of buying a new kain pelikat and it was just as if I could read his mind. Heh, he could be a smooth talker sometimes. But yes he could be really charming and it was not difficult to understand why he used to have so many fans 'wanting to know him better'.

Happy birthday Hizairi where ever you are. If your mother's hunch is right - that you are still alive and safe somewhere - my doa is that you will be under Allah's protection and in His guided path always.

First girl in the family...

My SIL just gave birth to their second child this morning at 1.03 a.m.
The girl, Balqis Raihana is just a year and a month apart from her elder brother, Uwais Sharif Al-Qarni.
My brother Azrul was born on 1 July.
His son Uwais on 1 September.
And now his daughter on 1 October.
I 'complimented' Sarah, my SIL, on the 'nice timing' of the birth, to which Sarah replied, "Abang yang harap sangat baby lahir masa 1 haribulan. Doa dia termakbul la tu..."

Yes, I know I should be posting an entry on Raya.
But welcoming my first niece/Mak & Ayah's first grand daughter (after four grand sons) is a big deal which takes priority over the belated Raya entry.

Ahlan wasahlan wa marhaban ya Balqis Raihana...

P.S: Al-fatihah for the earth quake victims in Padang.